Sunday, October 18, 2009

Middle

When I was a young mom, I read and read and read. I looked for mentors on how to raise my children wonderfully. I studied. I did for them.
Now I am not a young mom anymore. I am in a middle phase.

My oldest keeps cutting the apron strings thread by thread. Friends are of great importance. I can envision the day that is quickly coming where she is no longer the teen that she is. Our days of "attitude" are becoming less frequent.

My second is beginning the same. The days of "attitude" are becoming more frequent.

Third is deeply involved in his decade of life. He went into the woods with a neighborhood friend this week. Friend's father was there, but a new letting go experience for me.

The last is now an older preschooler. He still follows me around like a shadow each day. But, two days ago, a knock came at our door. A little neighbor asked if could come out to play. He went out, running down the street with his friend, by themselves. Me-following through every window of the house making sure they arrived to the designated play site, where I knew the other mom was watching. And me-feeling pieces of my heart changing, falling, moving.

I do not have a mentor for this.
I am making my own way. It is a very weird journey.

There is so much information out there about different phases of women's lives. There's getting married, creating a home, raising children, working, taking care of aging parents, getting older.
There seems to be a lack of information about the middle space that I am in. I am looking.

I did find something the other day that spoke to me. It's linked at the bottom.
Referring to that, I do believe that I have arrived at the space she describes I am still getting comfortable, but I am there.

My ability to be clever has turned itself into an ability to be wise.

I have trained my brain to assess the needs of others before my own.

My charm comes from not feeling pressure to be charming.

I prefer the simple life. The life I have now.
(taken from the blog cjanerun--see link at bottom)


http://blog.cjanerun.com/2009/10/heavy-meal.html

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