Sunday, May 30, 2010

Memorial Day - Big Life Lesson

Found image here.

Be grateful for those who've gone before and made the blessings of your life possible.

I don't know all the people who have made my life what it is today.
I know some.
I am grateful to all.
And I am grateful to their familys who've also made sacrifices.

(Sorry for skipping Sunday School this week, have something good-will save it for another week.)

Saturday, May 29, 2010

Book Club

Ok, so one of my Beckys has asked for what order I would recommend reading the books I listed (see this post).

Earlier in my life, I was accused of being bossy, so I now have issues with the manner in which I tell people what they should do. I am now only bossy to those living with me, and I most always say please (even when I am asking them to not drive so fast because there are always consequences when one drives too fast).

So, I am not going to tell you. You can decide for yourself.
But, we will be discussing "The Help" at the end of the summer. :).
(We will be a very slow moving book club.)

And here are my short descriptions of some of the reads listed in that post:

The Survivor's Club--nonficiton, gives different stories of different kinds of survivors, if you have a code (you can only use the code one time) -you can go online and find your "survivor type," I am not tenacious nor do I have ingenuity-but I will survive on faith, love, and empathy.

The Little Giant of Aberdeen County--fiction, you think it's going to be about one thing and it turns out to be about something totally different, I kept asking myself, "what would I do? How would I handle this?" I would really like to discuss this, but of course, that would mean I would need to read it again because I liked it so much I stayed awake reading until 2am and now can remember little.

The Book of Mormon--religious, this book is unusual.  If you haven't read it, you should give it a try & don't give up, sometimes it can be a difficult read, follow through to the end & look for a request & a promise, you can request a free copy here or let me know & I will get one to you.  If you do this, please let me know how it works out for you.  You can contact me via email through my profile to keep it private or if you know my secret identity, you can talk to me for real.

The Physick Book of Deliverance Dane--fiction, mystery, romance, ok, I read this one too fast, too.  Loved the stories and how they fit together. 

The Lace Reader--fiction, I don't even know what to say, because I don't want to give this one away.  I love to figure books and movies and stories out before I get to the end.  Thought I had this one & was only kind of right. Loved it. Again, I stayed up way too late reading and now suffer small memory loss.

The Shack--fiction, somewhat religious, My spiritual views differ greatly with this story.  This is a book to read if you really want to challenge how you view things or maybe see them in a different way.  It's also very touching and somewhat heart wrenching.  It was not one of my favorites, but I do not regret reading it.

The New Rules of Weight Lifting for Women--nonfiction, health, I've been following this for almost a year.  If I would eat better I probably would "lift like a man and look like a godess." It's been challenging and I now look in the mirror and flex my new biceps--along with my chicken wing flaps. (There-I did it just now, for you. woo hoo.)  I really like it. There is one excercise that one of the gym trainers told me would hurt my knees if I kept doing it--so I adapted it and my knees said thanks. 

The Great and Terrible Series--fiction, LDS (Mormon) author, scared my pants off.
Get prepared.  That's all I can say.  End times are not going to be a picnic. And I'm not going to tell you anymore because when I think about this story, my worry stomach gets working too hard. This series is the reason I read The Survivor's Club and will now be taking martial arts classes.

Here are more books I've recently finished:

Here's a link to the Sugar Shock Blog.

After reading these, I have decided that if I die this summer because I am giving up sugar and making some changes, that I will be fine.

And while I am trying to live without sugar, I will be reading The Outliers, The Collected Works of TS Spivet, Living your Strengths, another on that is on hold at the library that I can't remember its name, various kids' books, and many more.

My goal is to be in bed at 10pm, lights out at 11.  And no sugar.

Friday, May 28, 2010

What I learned today:

Today I learned that a sharpie marker will still work after it goes through the wash.

Big Life Lesson

Picture from here.

Everything has a consequence.
Thoughts, words, actions, etc., etc., etc.
What we do causes other things to happen.

And here is an illustration:

A couple of months ago, my mr. and I had the chance to head to the west without our children.
We flew to Boise, Id. Drove to Midway, Ut. Drove to Salt Lake. Drove to Taylorsville, Ut. Drove to Ogden, Ut. Then back to Boise. Drove to Lewiston, Id. Drove to Moscow, Id. Drove back to Lewiston, Id. Drove back to Boise. Flew home to Oklahoma. In a week.
It was very relaxing.

We had things to do all all the listed places.  It was great fun.  It was great to reconnect with dear friends and relatives.  It was awesome to see the mountains and clear water again.  The driving didn't really bother me--except that someone was driving too fast and it wasn't me.

Besides making me nervous, the scenery was going by too fast.

I offered to drive. Denied.
I asked him to please slow down.
Momentarily accepted.
Over and over.

Then I gave up until I saw something on the Lewiston Grade (or Moscow Grade depending on which city you favor).  The Grade is this big mountain drive between Lewison and Moscow, Id.  It's a pass that gets you up or down  between the Palouse and the Snake River Valley. The Palouse is and area of land south of Spokane, Wa in Idaho and Washington.  It is known for it's rolling hills. It is gorgeous.  Click here to see some pictures (not mine-I didn't take my camera). And click here to learn more about the Palouse.

We were coming down to go back into Lewiston before heading to Boise, because my mr.'s favorite burger place in the whole world is there on 21st Street and he needed some fry sauce and lunch. 

When you are driving down the grade, at the bottom, you can go left to highway that will take you west and then south to Boise or take the curve to the right which sends you into Lewiston.

While I had stopped my speed mantra, I was still keeping watch of the beauty outside and saw an orange sign.

And I said, "You might want to slow down.  There is construction ahead."
And then I was quiet.

And he kept driving.
And I shut my eyes, because I saw what was parked right around the corner.
And then he slowed down.
And then he stopped.

And then we had a visitor, who gave him a souvenir. 
That cost quite a lot.
And I kept my mouth shut.

And then we went to lunch.
And I kept my mouth shut.

And I stood by him while he ordered.
And I sat at a booth while he visited the little boys room.
Right by an older native american couple who were discussing a pow wow.
And I rested my feet on the chair in front of me.
And I kept my mouth shut.

And then I put my feet down when he came over with his tray of food and looked at me funny.
I opened my mouth to eat some of his fries and fry sauce.

When he finished, we got in the car and drove to a different establishment that I've not found in OK and got a little something for me. (Which was a mistake, because if I'd been paying any attention at all, I could have gotten a little huckleberry something at my mr.'s favorite place.--If you ever have the chance to have a huckleberry milkshake--you better take it!  Or the mrs will chase you down & scold you.)

Then he took a chance and asked me a question.
He asked me, "What's been your favorite part of our trip?"
And I said, "Being right."

In my mr.'s defence, here is what he said about the incident, "I was slowing down.  I just didn't slow down fast enough."
And while driving back out of Lewiston, I saw two police cars with folks pulled over in the same spot we were.  I think Nez Perce county was having a nice ol' fundraiser that day.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

The Dog (part 5)

Ok, shhh.
Be very quiet about this, because I don't want her to know about it--

I am very happy.

She's not jumped up on me when I've gone outside with her the last few times.
She's obeyed me a a bit more & I've even been using my nice voice.
She's letting me pet her without attacking me and trying to reciprocate the touching (via her paws and tounge).
We even semi-successfully played fetch!
Or has she been reading this blog?

Monday, May 24, 2010

Awards Assembly

To get to the source of this certificate, click here.

I want you to know that they gave me the degree, but I think they forgot to teach me a couple of things. (And they forgot to sign the certificate.)

And as evidence of that, I give you the following:

Today I forgot something very important.  Two letters came a few weeks ago.  I put the letters on the bulletin board in the hall that we all walk by everyday.  I emailed the letter senders to let them know they had forgotten one important item in one of the said letters. They said they would take care of it.

Tonight was the high school's major award ceremony & I had two beautiful girls who were to be awarded significant recognition of their accomplishments this year.

And as I was pondering on if I should go ahead and make dinner, since my mr. was not home from work and he said he had something special planned, but we were getting hungry and didn't know when he was getting home, one daughter came and sat by me and said, "I don't feel like going to that thing tonight."

I said, "What thing?" And got a sick feeling in my stomach.

I knew. And I remembered that the letter said the ceremony would begin promptly at 6pm. 
Ten minutes from my right now.
And it takes ten minutes to get to the high school (not including parking and getting into the auditorium).

So I talked to the other daughter, and she said, "Do we have to dress up?"
I said yes and she said she didn't want to go.

And it killed me.
These girls have worked very hard in school this year and done incredible things and I am so proud of them.
I want them to know that.
I want them to know that other people are proud of them, too.
I want them to know that even though they don't see that cadre of parents out there day to day, that we are out there-cheering them on, hoping the best for them, wanting them to succeed.
I wanted to cheer for my friend's children and the children whose parents weren't there to cheer for them.

But, no, because I missed the mark in my calendaring and paying attention to that calendar lessons, I missed it.

So--Congratulations, Miss S for the awesomeness that is you.  You are a bright light.  Keep shining!
And--Congratulations, Miss H for the awesomeness that is you.  You are a bright light.  Keep shining!
Applause, applause, applause, applause, applause, applause, applause, applause, applause, applause!

May you learn from the mistakes of your mother & not repeat them.

I read too fast

and stay up way too late doing it.
So, I don't remember all I've read.

I had a conversation with a wonderful woman a few Saturdays ago and discovered that we are kindred spirits in our reading techniques. I think she might even read blogs and leave nice comments, too. She goes to a book club.  I don't.

I am too afraid to join book clubs in fear that I will say something stupid or wrong or rude, so this can be my own private one person club.  Feel free to comment and join in.  I will share my one person club. I am very nice.  I will not call your comment stupid, wrong, or rude.  If it is (which I know none will be, because only awesome, wonderful people read this blog and very few of you comment), it will go in the trash can.

So, because I read too fast and can't remember everything I read, I am going to brain dump here. That way I will be able to come back and remember-or at least remind myself that yes, I did read that book. And I will call this, my club, "books."

I have to warn you that I have some very different tastes.  You will probably laugh at some of the things I choose to read. But, since it's my club, I get to read whatever I want. Phew, I feel so powerful.  I should have started this little club long ago.  (I promise to not let all this power go to my head.)

These are some of the books I've read in the last few months:


Let me know which one you want to know about first.

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Sunday School

Ok, how about those Sundays where all the meetings are a little different, but the themes tie together quite nicely?

Sacrament Meeting (Main Meeting)-Reverence
--Not just the be quiet and listen in church kind of reverence, but reverence for the sacred. Reverence for God who has given us everything.  Reverence so that we can know what He wants for us.

Sunday School (the real class-not my mind meanderings)
--The Judges (Book from the Bible)
Ok, so I didn't take notes, but I did listen.  The following is from the text of the lesson:

The purpose of this lesson was "to encourage class members to seek influences that will strengthen them in living the gospel in a challenging world."
Through the following stories we were taught ways to do that:
1. Children of Israel & the apostasy cylce--the strength of righteous parents and the consequences of forsaking their ways
2. Deborah—the strength of a righteous friend
3. Gideon—the strength of faith in God
4. Samson—the strength of covenants and the consequences of breaking them

Find the full lesson here.

Relief Society (Women's Meeting)
Our lesson came from Seeking to Know God, Our Heavenly Father, and His Son, Jesus Christ

Elder Robert D. Hales Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. 

As prophesied, we live in a time when the darkness of secularism is deepening around us. Belief in God is widely questioned and even attacked in the name of political, social, and even religious causes. Atheism, or the doctrine that there is no God, is fast spreading across the world.

Even so, as members of the restored Church of Jesus Christ, we declare that “we believe in God, the Eternal Father, and in His Son, Jesus Christ, and in the Holy Ghost.”1

Some wonder, why is belief in God so important? Why did the Savior say, “And this is life eternal, that they might know thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom thou hast sent”?2

Without God, life would end at the grave and our mortal experiences would have no purpose. Growth and progress would be temporary, accomplishment without value, challenges without meaning. There would be no ultimate right and wrong and no moral responsibility to care for one another as fellow children of God. Indeed, without God, there would be no mortal or eternal life.

And this might have been my favorite quote from the whole lesson. It really stood out to me:
I testify that the way to know the truth about God is through the Holy Ghost. The Holy Ghost, the third member of the Godhead, is a personage of spirit. His work is to “testify of [God]”19 and to “teach [us] all things.”20

However, we must be careful not to constrain His influence. When we do not do what is right or when our outlook is dominated by skepticism, cynicism, criticism, and irreverence toward others and their beliefs, the Spirit cannot be with us. We then act in a way that the prophets describe as the natural man.

“The natural man receiveth not the things of the Spirit of God: for they are foolishness unto him: neither can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned.”21 This “natural man is an enemy to God, … and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, … and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, [and] full of love.”22

If we do not yield to the gentle influence of the Holy Ghost, we stand in jeopardy of becoming like Korihor, an anti-Christ in the Book of Mormon. Not only did Korihor disbelieve in God, but he also ridiculed the Savior, the Atonement, and the spirit of prophecy, falsely teaching that there is no God and no Christ.23
For the full text of this talk, go here. Then you can check out what all those numbered footnotes lead to.

So, do you see the ties there?  I hope so.
Happy Sunday.

Saturday, May 22, 2010

The Dog (part 4)

My current feelings about the dog.

Last Saturday night, I went to pet the dog and noticed that her tags were missing and her collar seemed tighter.
I suspected something.
So I petted her and said goodnight.

When I was trying to go to sleep, thoughts of someone messing with her collar and taking her tags stirred in my head. 
And I began to worry that maybe someone would want to take her.
See, there's a lot of construction going on around us & there are a lot of workers around.
Workers that like to walk up to our fence and interact with the dog.
I think they are attracted to her.
And even though she barks like a crazy lady at them, really all she wants is their attention.
And when they give it to her, she swoons.

Every dog person (and I am NOT a dog person) who meets her says, "Oh, she's going to be a good dog."
I say, "Yeah, when."
They say, "Oh, when she's two or three."

So I have hope.
And I have two little boys who say they love her.

And I had weird feelings.
Feelings I will now try to explain.

(Oh, and you need to know that I suffer from a famlilal trate handed down to me from my paternal grandmother called unnatural worry.--AKA--I have a big imagination when it comes to something harming or hurting my family.)

I thought myself into the thought that someone was trying to take our dog and it made me very, very sad.
What could these feelings mean?
When I told my mr, he looked at me like I was a crazy lady.

Am I worried about my kids or do I like the dog?
Oh dear.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Busy, busy, busy

I don't like being busy, busy, busy.
I hold a belief that we choose how we look at our time & can somewhat control the busy-ness.
Sometimes that belief is wrong.

I told you this week would be a lot less gloomy and lighter & it has been - for me.
I just haven't had a chance to sit down pass some of the light on.
I have some fun ideas-just not the time to sit my rear end down & share with you.
It's frustrating, because I keep writing posts in my head-but there's nowhere for me to write them down.

So, here's some of my fun that's been keeping me away:

A lot of Laundry.
And I look at the piles and think, "Sheesh, does an army live here?"
And then I say, "Kind of."
And then I do it.
(At this moment, I am ignoring the dryer beeping-makes me feel powerful and in control)

Food Issues.
The people at this house like to eat.
So do I,
Hence, it must be dealt with.

Last Minute Realization that this is the last week of school for one of my kids and everything that comes with that.

Field Day volunteers needed, thought I could skip out.
Last minute email game out & I took up the call.
(Remind me to tell you later about the thing I learned about something that I had forgot about.)

Orthodonist Appt for one child during a tornado watch, or was it warning-I don't know which-we went to the appointment.

Cub Scout Pack Meeting that I was too excited to get home from because of said same tornado watch.

Grumpy "brain training tutoree."

Viewing some of Sunday's hailstorm damage--oh my goodness, if you haven't seen what baseball size hail can do, you have to check it out.  I will try to post something tomorrow (depending on how busy I am).

Getting ready to participate in a friend's garage sale.

Forgetting to make some important phone calls.

Fun church stuff.

And here are the best busies:

Helping little mr j ride his bike
Trying to keep the teenagers' schedules straight
Deciding on driver's ed dates
Field Day
Visiting with a neighbor and her elderly mom
The Gym
Food Issuses

Some people might call my busy, busy, busy-boring, boring, boring.
It all depends on how it's viewed.
I love it.

Now-off to fold some clothes, be thankful for the calm weeks, and to consider the advantages of the nudist family's way of life.

Monday, May 17, 2010

Mi perro está loco. (The Dog part 3)

Picture from here.

Our fence is not solid. We can totally see out to the street and anyone on the street can totally see into our yard.

So I decided it would be nice to shield our neighbors from our backyard that is beginning to look a bit ratty because of a certain four legged resident. And to hopefully deter that four legged resident from barking at every kind neighbor that walks by.

I loved honeysuckles when I was a little girl. They smell so good and it was fun to pull off the flower and suck the sweet nectar. (Ok, now as an older person, I would have to look into that practice to see if it's really safe, but I would totally do it if it is.)

My dear neighbor (of the curtains-see this post) brought over some honeysuckle starts.
I was so grateful.

A couple of days later, I went into the yard- outside the four legged resident's fence.  I dug a little hole near the fence (because honeysuckles are a vine and need support to grow on-and would beautifully block the view).  I put in potting soil and fertilizer. (Supplementing our red dirt, you see.) I planted a couple of precious little honeysuckle starts. Patted down the dirt and watered them well.

Looking forward to the beauty to come, I moved on.

I dug another hole and turned to admire my work of moments before.
The starts were gone.
There was a hole.

And the dog sat, on the inside of the fence, wagging her tail, waiting for me to plant another toy.

Oh man.

I resolved to not let it bug me.  I really hadn't worked that hard. I could outsmart this dog.
(Ok, I did swing the trowel at her when she was trying to lick and grab my hands through the fence.)
We had some plastic mesh that we'd used in a project before and zip ties.  I cut the mesh, ziptied it to the fence in all the spots I wanted to plant. And did what I did before with the planting in a few different spots.

Then I cleaned up, and left for a couple of hours.

The project that we used the plastic mesh for was protection for the two shrub/trees in the backyard that the dog had been using as a chew-toy shopping center. (Really, she took off large branches near the roots to drag around the yard and chewed off all the smaller branches she could reach.) 

In my honeysuckle joy, I had forgotten how badly that ended. 
Those shrubs are protected by wire mesh and rebar now.

When I came home, I found:
No mesh. No honeysuckle starts. Holes.
And she dug a couple of extra holes - just for fun.

And she was very happy.  What a kind person I am, to make all that fun for the dog.
And-she even gets to keep her view. Lucky dog.

To learn a lot about honeysuckles go here.
This link will tell you how to grow a honeysuckle. I think I may send them a suggestion for the "tips and warnings" portion of their article. How does "beware of perro loco" sound?
And here's a free translator website: awesome.
(Thank you to miss h & s's babysitting charge with teaching me the title saying and inspriation to find that translator.)

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Sunday School

This video was made for teenagers, but I think it's a beautiful message for all of us.

Saturday, May 15, 2010

What do you think?

New picture up top? 
What do you think?
I think I might need to go put on my sunglasses.

Just so you know, I do not know much in the way of photo editing and am just starting to learn about that kind of thing.  This picture and the earlier one came from a "free" header source.  I don't know what to do with them or even what kind of thing would look pretty up there. I did find another pic. that I really like, but I can't get the size right. It pops up very teeny tiny and looks silly.  And that's not the look I'm going for at all.

Again, I am open to your ideas and suggestions.

And- I promise next week to be much post peppier.
And- Should I put a follower gadget up?  Would that bother you? Would it make Becoming Versed look too cluttered? Would I have to dust it?

Friday, May 14, 2010

Things to know and do to help a friend or loved one with PPD

For a definition of PPD, go here.

This is a copy of a handout a dear woman gave to me a few months ago. (The title above and the words in italics come directly from the handout.) I wish our family had known this.  Maybe it can help you or someone you love.

-She cannot "snap" out of it.
-She will get better.
-WITH PROPER TREATMENT you will get your wife/daughter/sister/friend back.
-You cannot make this go away.
-PPD affects the whole family
-Make sure you are taking care of yourself.
-Do not asume everything is OK because she says so.
-Do not let her appearance convince you that she is feeling better than she really is.
-Do not tell her what to feel or what not to feel.
-Validate what she feels.
-Listen to her.
-Some things that made her feel good previously, may not work the next time.
-Tell her you know she feels miserable.
-Tell her she will get better.
-Tell her she can still be a good mother and feel terrible.
-Tell her it's OK to make mistakes--she doesn't have to be perfect.
-Tell her you love her.
-Tell her the baby will be fine.

Please remember, if your loved one expresses ANY thoughts of hurting herself or her baby seek IMMEDIATE medical attention! This is an emergency and help must be sought right away!

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

What happened to me: the PostPartum Depression I didn't realize I had

This post isn't for sympathy--this is something I had, not have now.  I just want it out there so if maybe some mom like me might recognize herself in this, she can get help.  I don't want anyone else to have to endure this if they don't have to.

I didn't realize I had PPD when I had it.
I bet most people I was around would never have guessed it.

I put on a smile, coped the best I could and blamed everything on sleep deprivation.
I was wrong.

I had to work very hard to pull myself out of its depths.
I knew something was wrong when my baby was one year old and I still had to gather all my strength just to run to the grocery store.
I signed us up for a baby & mom swim class.
I had to give us a purpose. (Besides taking care of all the other people in our family-I did love that purpose, it just didn't get me going.)
Getting out once a week helped.
Then I started going to the gym a few mornings a week. That helped-when I could get myself together.

Quite a while later, our family found out that we would probably have to move to another state.
Prepping for that, the reality set in.
I had to get it together.
Luckily, my mr. knew he was going to be layed-off for almost nine months and then we had a "trial separation" (only physical-he came to work in our new state, the kids and I stayed behind, finished the school year & got the house ready to sell).  That took another seven months.
I say luckily because I had time.
And I had great people surrounding me-even though they didn't know they were helping.

While I was prepping the house, a very kind woman said, "I am coming over to help you."
And I swallowed my pride and let her in and I am glad I did.
She was a spitfire and cleaned so fast, it overwhelmed me.
Trying to keep up with her put many cracks in that PPD cocoon I had built around me.

The house was on the market and sold, our family reunited for good in our new state.
I started excercising and taking better care of myself. I kept trying. I kept praying.
I keep finding new parts of me that I'd forgotten.

After some fun one night, one of the kids said to me, "Hey mom, you're back. I missed you."
I missed me, too. I'm so glad to be back.

So--here are the symptoms of PPD - remember, it's more than the blues. And if you know anyone going through this, get help. And speak to a medical professional-I am not one of those, I'm just a person who went undiagnosed and lost a lot of time.

Here they are from webMD.--
There are many possible symptoms of postpartum depression, including the following:

Inability to sleep or sleeping a lot, even when the baby is awake.
Change in appetite.
Extreme concern and worry about the baby or a lack of interest or feelings for the baby.
Feeling unable to love the baby or your family.
Anger toward the baby, your partner, or other family members.
Anxiety or panic attacks.
Fear of harming your baby. These thoughts may be obsessive, and you may be afraid to be left alone in the house with your baby.
Sadness or excessive crying.
Difficulty concentrating or remembering.
Feelings of doubt, guilt, helplessness, hopelessness, or restlessness.
Lethargy or extreme fatigue.
Loss of interest in hobbies or other usual activities.
Mood swings.
Feeling emotionally numb.
Numbness or tingling in your arms or legs.
Frequent calls to the pediatrician with an inability to be reassured.
Recurrent thoughts of death, which may include thinking about or even planning suicide.
Obsessive-compulsive features, including intrusive, repetitive thoughts and anxiety
Exaggerated highs and lows

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

I am sick.

Picture from here.
There's also an article on how to outsmart the flu at that link.

I don't get sick.
I've been able to say that to myself for quite sometime now.
But, not yesterday and today.

I grew up in a "get up, get dressed, and lets see how you are doing then" kind of a house.  Well, by the time I was up and dressed, I usually was well enough to handle a day.
Not yesterday.
Not today.
I am fairing quite well, but it's almost noon and I am still in my pajamas and that scares me.

It scares me because for so many years, I did wake up, get myself together & go on with life.
But I wasn't healthy.
Days like today make me fear regression.
I will not go back.
It's taken me four long years to get to the point I'm at and I will not go back.

Staying in my pajamas and allowing myself to feel the haze that comes with illness is a very scary thing to me.
It feels like the days when all I could do was care for one of my babies and sit on the couch.
Sometimes I would do laundry.  It would be clean, in a pile.
Sometimes I would cook.  It wouldn't be much.
I would tell myself, "They are safe, they are fed, they are clothed in clean clothing.  It is all you can do right now and it is ok."

I never had an official diagnosis.
But looking back on it, I was very sick.
But I came out of it.
Thank goodness.
Looking back on it, I thought I was just tired. I was wrong.

If I were to go about it again, I would quit trying to be brave and confess and get some help.

And now I am off to snuggle someone on the couch, take care of myself, and heal.
Thank goodness it's just a cold.

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Happy Mother's Day

"The mother's heart is the child's schoolroom."
-- Henry Ward Beecher (1813-1887)

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Picture at top

Do you like it?
Yes or No
I think it's kind of big.

My talents do not lie in decorating.
I believe it to be a tortureous (sp?) excercise.
So, what do you think?

I really would like to pretty-up that box on top, but don't know how to do it & don't know what would be appropriate.

Any ideas would be appreciated.

PS-Asking you the above has made me question myself, as I've made a heafty decorating decision this week  I hope it was a good one.  It only took me five years to make it happen. I hope I did the right thing.

Window Coverings

I have a neighbor who is incredible.
Her yard looks like it fell out of a magazine, her dog is obedient and sweet, she's kind.
She did something very funny before we moved in, that I won't tell you about, but I think a lot of people do it, only we caught her :).
One day she said to me, "mrs, I could make you some pretty drapes for your bathroom."
I didn't listen.

Then something whispered to me, "Maybe you should listen."
So I did.
She came and measured and we talked about fabric.
I was supposed to go look for fabric, but as I am a recluse and only leave the house when I have to, I didn't do it. (I'm not really a recluse, I'm just lazy.)
One day she called me from Dallas and said, "Can you go look at your email?  I just found the perfect fabric for you and it's only $not much.00, a yard." 
I hurried to my email, looked and said, "Oh, yes. That's nice."
Really, I said that because I know she has great taste and I trust her.
And it was in my budget.
And I wouldn't have to go shopping.

So, a few weeks later she told me it was time to go get a rod.
I asked her what kind of rod.  She answered.
I went shopping.

And then she & her wonderful husband did us the kindest service.
They came an hung the rod and curtains--well, really her husband did most of it. 
She and he did the calculating and hanging. 
I did some holding and a lot of visiting.
(Where was my mr.? I don't know, I don't remember.)

And then they went home.
To their house.
Which is across the street from my window.
My bathroom window.


This happened months after this incident. (This link should work now-sorry it was messed up earlier.)
Oh, the hypocrisy.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Oh, so bad

As promised, here is what I did:
(And it's not a bad, me-the-mom story, it's just a bad me story.)

Our street has three houses all in various degrees of being built.
One right across the street from us (a son, who is a builder, is building it for his parents-isn't that awesome?).
Two down the little hill and almost directly across from each other.
They are being built by the same people that built ours.

I know that construction traffic is a consequence of choosing this house that we live in. Fortunately, our area is one that is blessed to still have some growth right now. Ususally, it's no big deal. We are just very careful.
Our mailbox has only been knocked down once and the builder mentioned above took care of it right away.

Today was an especially busy day on the street. Every contractor and their dog was there. (Well, not really their dog, but I just like that saying & when the house diagonally behind us was being built, one of the contractors did bring a little dog that liked to squeeze through our fences and visit our the dog.)

As I was pulling out of my drive, onto our street (facing a little neighborhood park), to turn on the the other street before the main street (ok, I know that's a lot of streets, but we live on the corner and the other streets are very close together.), through the construction worker's vehicles, I noticed some dark movement. I stopped moving and a little black truck came ripping around the corner. He would have hit me if I hadn't stopped when I saw the movement. I am glad I stopped.

I backed up and out of his way. He drove on quickly.
You know that weird rush you get when you have a close call like that?
I got it.

And, maybe I was associating that construction worker driver with the driver that did a u-ey and squeeled his tires in front of my house early the evening before, but I was mad.

So this is what I did:
I followed him down the hill.
The little hill where, on both sides, construction vehicles are parked.
And there is one tiny lane to get through.
And then there is a big truck with a trailer coming toward me.
Keeping an eye on the little black truck, I pulled over and parked in a tight spot.
In front of me there was some construction guy waving parking directions to me (that's how tight it was).
And then, because it looked like that person in the little black truck was going into one of those houses, I got out of my car.

And ran down the road.
And I said loudly and not in a nice tone, "You have to slow down. I live in that house on the corner and you almost hit my car. There are children in this neighborhood & you have to be careful. I don't care if you hit my car-no, I would care, but--if you would have hurt my children, that would have been very bad. You have to slow down."
Him, "I'm sorry."
Me, "You have to slow down. You can't drive so fast in a neighborhood."
Him, "I'm sorry."
Me, "You have to slow down."
On and on like a crazy woman. I couldn't stop saying it.
Him, "I'm sorry."
Again and again.

Finally I stopped. I think he was really sorry.
Probably sorry that this crazy lady was on his case, too.

I walked back to my vehicle and my parking helper was just looking at me.
I said, "He was going too fast."
He said, "I know and there are too many of us here right now."
I said, "Will you please tell any of these workers you are around to please slow down?"
Him, "Yes."
Me, "Thanks."

And I backed up the road, backed into my driveway and drove out of the neighborhood.
And I called the construction forman of the two houses, because I saw his van there and I have his number.
And I asked him, "Will you please tell any of these workers you are around to please slow down?"

When I returned an hour or so later, it was too beautiful outside to go inside so, I pulled some weeds in the flower beds and pretty much dilly dallied around the front yard and driveway for a while.

A few workers drove by. Slowly.

I do have guilt about going on and on and on at the poor guy.
But, I learned that sometimes it pays off to be a little crazy.

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Sunday School

I almost skipped Sunday School today.
You wouldn't believe how beautiful it was here in Oklahoma. 
I really think today was a Garden of Eden day. Except, it was probably a little warmer in Eden-you know the nakedness and all. Anyway,
the temperature hovered around 80 degrees, the sky was baby, baby blue with the most precious fluffy white clouds set in the sky in such a attractive manner, the fresh new green growing, and a slight off and on breeze.  I even saw a butterfly and five white doves flying.
It was beautiful.
I could really deal with having days like this always.

I did get it together & here's today's Sunday School:
Once I went to a leadership meeting that was very, very good.
I was working in Primary at the time.
We were asked what we remembered most about Primary (those of us who went when we were younger, of course).

What do you think we answered?
We answered: music and how we felt.
Not many of us could remember many specific lessons.

I remember part of two specific lessons and how I felt, but I can tell you about those later.

The main point was,
help the children feel the Spirit.

Teach them the music-they will have that with them the rest of their lives. It helps bring the Spirit and create a peaceful environment.
Teach them the gospel, with the Spirit and teach them to recognize the Spirit when it is there.
Teach them what it feels like.

Because, someday, when we aren't around to help them anymore, they are going to need the guidance of the Spirit and it would be good for them to know how to get it and recognize it.

Here's what I remember about Primary:
-my mom substituting our little star A class, we were doing some little song with a star on a stick- I really liked that star on a stick-one person got to stand on a chair and hold the star up high-I really, really wanted a turn, but my mom kept telling me "no-I had to wait"-I don't remember if I had a turn, but I remember feeling very unimportant.  awwww.  (I was 4 or 5. She let me play with the star on a stick at home before the lesson. I know she was trying to not play favorites & she is a very sweet woman, but, if one of my children is in a class I am teaching, they do get a little extra love.)

-When I was about 10 or eleven, we had a lesson on talents.  I really didn't have any readily apparent talents, but my teacher said to me, "mrs (only I wasn't the mrs then, of course), you are a really good listener. That is a very important talent."  I finally felt that I had something important to share. That comment has gotten me through the last 30 years.

-I remember practicing  this song to perform as a Primary chorus in stake conference in the chapel with bright sunlight shining in through big windows, diffused by the tremendously tall drapes, and feeling warm.  Our stake center was my grandma's ward building and it was where my wedding reception was later held.

-And, because I want you to know that I love my mom very much and she taught me so many wonderful things, here are two songs that I will always associate with her and will always make me smile.
(When you listen to the following links, you can sing on your own-the music an accompainment is there-or you can play it with words and music.  It's a very cool site.)
This one she taught me when I was very little. I love it; Give Said the Little Stream.
And this one she teased me with often, especially when I was in my teenage-rolling-the-eyes stage; Smiles.
I should sing it more often. 
I think I will.

What are your songs?  What are your memories? What do you think?

Deliver Me From Donut Day

Again, I haven't written in a while, but I don't want to forget this one. It's a doozy. I work in an elementary school. I teach ...