Friday, June 27, 2014

Guess what has two buttons.

My shirt.
It has two buttons.
Two buttons has my shirt.
And had it not two buttons,
It still would be my shirt.

And my fatty arm would've been wayyyyy more comfortable for the last, ummmmm, five (?) years.

(Loving this year's lost and found theme.  Seriously. I really could've 'let out' these sleeves long ago. Very glad to have finally noticed. Especially since I've not exercised or eaten well the past 10 months. Oh well, at least the sleeves looked good for miss H's wedding festivities.)

Wednesday, June 25, 2014

But it smelled of death and bacon.

The big garbage bin smelled of death and bacon.
So I sprayed it out, left some water in there and poured in some bleach.
And let it sit.
For a few days.

Then I sprayed it out some more.
And emptied it down the drive into the grass.

I should not have emptied it into the grass
but I thought sending death and bacon into the grass 
was a better idea 
than sending death and bacon into the street.

I didn't think about the bleach.

Don't send death and bacon and bleach to the grass.
It would go better down the drive.

(PS- please don't feel bad for the grass. It's not really grass. It's weeds and it'll come back just fine. At least I'm pretty sure it will. If it doesn't, I've got a great new product that brings death to weeds & smells funky clean to patent.)

Deliver Me From Donut Day

Again, I haven't written in a while, but I don't want to forget this one. It's a doozy. I work in an elementary school. I teach ...