I am sick.
Picture from here.
There's also an article on how to outsmart the flu at that link.
I don't get sick.
I've been able to say that to myself for quite sometime now.
But, not yesterday and today.
I grew up in a "get up, get dressed, and lets see how you are doing then" kind of a house. Well, by the time I was up and dressed, I usually was well enough to handle a day.
I am fairing quite well, but it's almost noon and I am still in my pajamas and that scares me.
It scares me because for so many years, I did wake up, get myself together & go on with life.
But I wasn't healthy.
Days like today make me fear regression.
I will not go back.
It's taken me four long years to get to the point I'm at and I will not go back.
Staying in my pajamas and allowing myself to feel the haze that comes with illness is a very scary thing to me.
It feels like the days when all I could do was care for one of my babies and sit on the couch.
Sometimes I would do laundry. It would be clean, in a pile.
Sometimes I would cook. It wouldn't be much.
I would tell myself, "They are safe, they are fed, they are clothed in clean clothing. It is all you can do right now and it is ok."
I never had an official diagnosis.
But looking back on it, I was very sick.
But I came out of it.
Looking back on it, I thought I was just tired. I was wrong.
If I were to go about it again, I would quit trying to be brave and confess and get some help.
And now I am off to snuggle someone on the couch, take care of myself, and heal.
Thank goodness it's just a cold.